From J.P. Der Boghossian to John Parker

This history of our names is compelling and messy. I was lucky to write about the history of my own name when I was a Lambda Literary fellow in 2022 and they published that essay in their anthology Emerge.

I won’t get into the whole history here. But, if you’ve wondered what the “J.P.” in J.P. Der Boghossian stands for, well, it’s John Parker.

Der Boghossian is my Armenian family name and I had it legally added to my American surname, Parker.

John Parker never fully captured my lived experiences of walking through the world as an Armenian-American and dual citizen of France and the United States. At the same time, Der Boghossian was on the verge of going out of existence because of the patriarchy. When all the women in the family take on the surnames of their spouses and all the men have daughters, well, the name goes out of existence.

So it was a joy to officially take on Der Boghossian and to have that history visible and preserved. To make explicit what the patriarchy had erased in my own life.

As for J.P., it was a nickname given to me when I was very young by someone very important to me who ultimately died of suicide later in life. Going by J.P. always keeps his memory alive for me.

So, now you can see how J.P. Der Boghossian was the perfect synthesis of this life-history.

Until my Armenian family disinherited me. By text message. And, when given the opportunity to walk it back and shift gears on their heterosexism, they decided not to change.

That was a year ago. After a lot of reflection, processing, and therapy, I’ve decided to relinquish Der Boghossian.

While I don’t regret carrying it visibly through the world, it’s not my responsibility to preserve it. Sure, I could keep it in defiance. But I’m not interested in putting in the necessary amount of energy needed to do that.

So, John Parker.

But, I’ll still answer to JP. Again, that nickname has it’s own meaningful history for me that goes back to junior high.

However, for that story, you’ll have to read about it in Emerge.